My ears have been bothering me since we got back from the beach. Since I spent most of the vacation in water, I assumed it was just water stuck in my ears. Today, though, I was having trouble hearing and a little bit of pain in my left ear.

So, I did the smart thing and went to Health Plus. The doctor looked in both ears. “They’re a little pink, and you have some wax building up in there. We need to flush out your ears.”

Hmm, sounded harmless enough. A few minutes later, a nurse walked in with a spray bottle that had a long tube on it with a plastic disc and a much tinier tube at the tip of it.  Again, it didn’t look so bad. The nurse politely asked me to hold this oddly-shaped white plastic tray under my ear as she gently slid the tiny tube into my ear. As she squeezed the nozzle on the spray bottle, my ear filled with water and a felt just a slight stinging. She sprayed again and again. “There’s nothing coming out,” she said. After a few minutes of me grabbing the side of the seat, she finally cheered, “Oh, there we go. That’s a big chunk of wax.” (I clean my ears, I swear. Doctor said the buildup could be due to the infection.) Simple enough, right?

However, when she slid the tiny hose into my right ear and squeezed the nozzle, I immediately felt pain on the inside of my ear that grew worse with every squeeze of the nozzle. “Ow,” I whispered, figuring the pain was normal.

“Does that hurt?” the nurse asked. I could only mumble my answer as my eyes began to get glassy and I could hear (or maybe feel) a ringing in my ears. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“I don’t know.” I sat back in the seat and closed my eyes for just a second, hoping to ease the pain. I didn’t open them again until I heard the nurse shouting for one of the girls in the hallway.

“I need someone to help me get this chair back, he just passed out.” After a few minutes of embarrassing stares from nurses walking in and out to check on me, the doctor wandered in and checked both of my ears again.

“This right one is still a little clogged, but the left one looks good. Want to try to finish the right one?” Was he serious? Sure, why not, what’s the worst that could happen? I’ve already embarrassed myself by passing out during an ear cleaning.

After giving me some time to relax, the nurse sat me up carefully, handed me the plastic tub, eased the tube into my ear, and squeezed again. After about the fifth squeeze, I felt that familiar wave of nausea again. As if on instinct, in a series of swift motions, the nurse pulled the tube away, scooted the trash can over next to me, and then back away.

I puked. Couldn’t help it. And the embarrassment got worse with every heave. Once the doctor got word that I had vomited, that was it. I lay with my knees up, breathing and relaxing for about thirty minutes until they finally gave me permission to check out and go home.

Here is my confession. This is the third time this has happened to me. I passed out when I had to have lead removed from under my thumb nail and the doctor injected me with a local anesthesia to numb my thumb and then walked off for a few minutes to give it time to work. I was out in just about a minute and a half. Something similar happened when I had to get debris removed from under my toenail. I didn’t actually pass out this time because I felt it coming and managed to bring my knees up and breathe through it.

Why? Why me? I don’t have a low threshold for pain. I walked away from being hit by a car while riding my bike. I once tumbled down a rocky hillside and walked home looking like I had just fought Edward Scissorhands. I was able to stay conscious when I twisted my ankle, which was definitely the worst pain I have ever felt. So why did something so simple make me dizzy and nauseated?

Can any medical experts out there answer that question for me, or do I remain a mystery.

Last week, I spent some time with my three favorite people (wife and kids) at Myrtle Beach. This year marked ten years ago when Jennifer and I were last there together and it was great to be back. We stayed in North Myrtle in an amazing resort called The Baywatch:

Our room was on the 16th floor and had a breathtaking balcony view of the ocean. Jennifer and I spent plenty of time resting on that balcony, watching the parasailers, advertising planes, and beach goers. To be honest, though, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. Watching the breeze blow her hair as her curious brown eyes scanned the beach was one of the most stunning things I have ever seen.

I have to tell you about a few things that happened while I was there. I don’t believe in coincidences. Things happen for a reason. The third day there, I woke up early and wandered out to the beach alone. As I stood with my feet in the tide, I prayed that God would bless our vacation and make it one we would never forget. Later that day, Bianca and I were swimming about thirty-five yards out. I was carrying her in my arms, splashing her playfully against oncoming waves. To her delight, a few fish were putting on a show about ten yards from us, jumping over the waves. I peered down at the water, hoping to spot a few of them when I noticed a group of about six stingrays swimming right in front of us. They quickly darted away and out of sight. My heart was beating so fast I felt my legs buckle. “Did you see that?” I asked Bianca. Her eyes were wide and she nodded. We hurried back to dry land, not out of fear but eagerness to tell Jennifer.

A little while later, as I was floating freely in a deep pool made by the tide, I dug my hands into the sand several times, trying to dig up shells for Aryanna and Bianca. (Which reminds me, I have to tell you about the Seashell Vultures in a later post). At last, I felt something large and hard as a sifted the sand from my palm. Once I pulled my hand from the water, I was amazed to see a hermit crab scurrying across my palm. I had to grab him to keep him from falling off into the water. Proud of my find, I rushed to the girls to show them my catch. I will never forget their curious eyes as they watched the crab stretch his legs, searching desperately for some surface on which to crawl away.  Bianca watched from a distance with cautious curiosity, but Aryanna kept repeating the same question:  “Can I hold it?”  I let her, placing the little crab carefully in her hand.  That lasted about two seconds until she felt the crab’s tiny legs scuttling across her palm.  She dropped it to the sand and I retrieved it.  “Say goodbye to the crab, girls.”  “Bye crab.”  They waved, smiling, as I walked back out to the rising tide, reached my hand back down to the surface, and opened my palm.  In no time, the crab scurried out and disappeared into the tide.

More later…

You can view these defunct rides at http://www.kiextreme.com/history_defunct.php

I really miss a few of these rides.  I stopped counting the number of times I rode Phantom Theater.  And I remember when it was The Smurf’s Enchanted Voyage.  I think I owe my grandfather a HUGE thank you for suffering through that ride with me again and again.

It’s also really sad that Screamin’ Demon, the ride that eventually became Thunderbolt Express at Camden Park, is now scrapped.  It wasn’t a great ride, but it’s just one of those things that I was comfortable seeing around.

I’m going to Kings Island June 6th.  I hear there are a lot of changes to the park since Paramount dropped ownership and Cedar Fair bought the park.  It will be interesting to see how things have changed since I was there two years ago.

Until later — “There’s no turning back now that you opened up to your mind.”

I decided to share it, so if you were to check my artists, you would come across Fergie, Gwen Stefani, Kellie Pickler, and a dozen or so more that are far from what I enjoy listening to. You would also find a Playlist titled “Disney.” Not hard to guess who that’s for.

I’m just so excited. I’ve spent hours already, syncing it up to my I-Tunes and getting as many of my songs as I can on there. I was really pleased o know that Nine Inch Nails is offering their new album The Slip for free online. Of course I downloaded it. It’s not as good as other albums of theirs, but hey, free music. You can get it by entering your e-mail here:

    The Slip

I was also happy to find that Smashing Pumpkins (who were one of the first rock bands to offer an entire album online) still had Machina II available online. You can get it here:

     Machina II

I think maybe I’m obsessed. I already have 433 songs on there and I still have more to go. I’m ripping some MP3s from CDs I have and putting them on, also. The CDs are just taking up space in my car.

If anyone knows of some other artists who offer MP3s of their music online, just let me know. I know Josh Ritter, an amazing songwriter comparable to Bob Dylan, has a few free MP3s on his homepage, as well:

    Josh Ritter Music

Until later — “There’s no turning back now that you opened up to your mind.”

Algazi, Alvarez, Alpern, Ametrano, Andrews, Aran, Arnstein, Ashford, Bailey Ballout, Bamberger, Baptista, Barr, Barrows, Baskerville, Bassiri, Bell, Bokgese, Brandao, Bravo, Brooke, Brightman, Billy, Blau, Bohen, Bohn, Borsuk, Brendle, Butler, Calle, Cantwell, Carrell, Chinlund, Cirker, Cohen, Collas, Couch, Callegher, Calcaterra, Cook, Carey, Cassell, Chen, Chung, Clarke, Cohn, Carton, Crowley, Curbelo, Dellamanna, Diaz, Dirar, Duncan, Dagostino, Delakas, Dillon, Donaghey, Daly, Dawson, Edery, Ellis, Elliott, Eastman, Easton, Famous, Fermin, Fialco, Finklestein, Farber, Falkin, Feinman, Friedman, Gardner, Gelpi, Glascock, Grandfield, Greenbaum Greenwood, Gruber, Garil, Goff, Gladwell, Greenup, Gannon, Ganshaw, Garcia, Gennis, Gerard, Gericke, Gilbert, Glassman, Glazer, Gomendio, Gonzalez, Greenstein, Guglielmo, Gurman, Haberkorn, Hoskins, Hussein, Hamm, Hardwick, Harrell, Hauptman, Hawkins, Henderson, Hayman, Hibara, Hehmann, Herbst, Hedges, Hogan, Hoffman, Horowitz, Hsu, Huber, Ikiz, Jaroschy, Johann, Jacobs, Jara, Johnson, Kassel, Keegan, Kuroda, Kavanau, Keller, Kevill, Kiew, Kimbrough, Kline, Kossoff, Kotzitzky, Kahn, Kiesler, Kosser, Korte, Leibowitz, Lin, Liu, Lowrance, Lundh, Laux, Leifer, Leung, Levine, Leiw, Lockwood, Logrono, Lohnes, Lowet, Laber, Leonardi, Marten, McLean, Michaels, Miranda, Moy, Marin, Muir, Murphy, Marodon, Matos, Mendoza, Muraki, Neck, Needham, Noboa, Null, O’Flynn, O’Neill, Orlowski, Perkins, Pieper, Pierre, Pons, Pruska, Paulino, Popper, Potter, Purpura, Palma, Perez, Portocarrero, Punwasi, Rader, Rankin, Ray, Reyes, Richardson, Ritter, Roos, Rose, Rosenfeld, Roth, Rutherford, Rustin, Ramos, Regan, Reisman, Renkert, Roberts, Rowan, Rene, Rosario, Rothbart, Saperstein, Schoenbrod, Schwed, Sears, Statosky, Sutphen, Sheehy, Silverton, Silverman, Silverstein, Sklar, Slotkin, Speros, Stollman, Sadowski, Schles, Shapiro, Sigdel, Snow, Spencer, Steinkol, Stewart, Stires, Stopnik, Stonehill, Tayss, Tilney, Temple, Torfield, Townsend, Trimpin, Turchin, Villa, Vasillov, Voda, Waring, Weber, Weinstein, Wang, Wegimont, Weed, Weishaus.  

When I took this test, I scored a 72.  Gladwell says that “the first–and most obvious–criterion is that Connectors know lots of people.”  One of my close high school friends used to joke that I know everyone because whenever we were out, I would see four or five people or more that I knew.  There was a running joke that if I went to a different state, I would still see someone I know.

I never took this joke seriously until a few years ago my wife and I were at King’s Island and I bumped into a lady I used to teach with.  The next summer, I was in line for a ride at Cedar Point and realized I was just a few people behind one of the school counselors at GW. 

Wait… it gets better.  The following year, I traveled to Disney World with my wife and kids.  Keep in mind that Disney has four parks, each of which has hundreds if not thousands of people in attendance.  We were walking through Magic Kingdom when I spotted a student of mine and her father, sitting on a bench.

Gladwell says, “Sprinkled among every walk of life, in other words, are a handful of people with a truly extraordinary knack of making friends and acquaintances. They are Connectors.”  I don’t know if I’m a connector or not, but I do know a lot of people.  Gladwell also points out that most people score around 20 or less.

It isn’t hard to believe that I know a lot of people.  I have worked in fast food, retail, and at the local movie theater.  And as a teacher, I have approximately 125 students and I get to know many of their parents, as well.  So I get the opportunity to get to know 200+ people a year.  And I’m grateful for every one of them.

Try this test out and see how you score.  I was thinking of trying it with a local phone book, but I don’t know if it would be as effective.

Until later– “There’s no turning back now that you opened up to your mind.”

This one was actually not the result of boredom.  I was made after a creative whim.  I was thinking of how cool it would be to make a playlist inspired by the Beat Movement.  The playlist has a mix of jazz and blues that are true to the Beat Movement time period as well as some more modern poetic songs that I feel are true to the messages and views of the Beat poets.  And, my favorite part, there are some poetry readings by famous figures of the Beat Movement. 

If you’re not familiar with the Beats, check out this Wikipedia article:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beat_Movement

Right now, my favorite Beat writer is Jack Kerouac.  I’m currently working my way through On the Road and I just recently bought The Dharma Bums (which I heard is more enjoyable than On the Road, but not as important).  I just love the idea of traveling across the country just to feel free.  My brother and I are planning to hike into the woods this summer with sleeping bags, food, and anything else we think we need, walking until we get tired, rolling out our sleeping bags, and spending the night wherever we are in the woods.

Hope you enjoy.  You should try this some time, create a playlist inspired by your favorite book, movie, video game, or whatever you want.

Nevertheless, here is what I think of as the top twenty greatest books I have ever read. I ranked these by enjoyment, not by importance. Mind you, they’re not the greatest of all time, just my favorites:

1. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

2. Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

3. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

4. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving

5. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

6. Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut

7. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey

8. Lord of the Flies by William Golding

9. On the Road by Jack Kerouac

10. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

11. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson

12. I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb

13. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

14. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut

15. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

16. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck

17. The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway

18. Storming Heaven by Denise Giardina

19. Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh

20. The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom

So there you have it. That was every bit as difficult as expected. I hope it wasn’t difficult for you to read or agree with.

Try posting your own list (if you’ve read 20 novels to rank.)

Nevertheless, when inspiration calls, I must answer. I have decided to compile a list of the top ten authors who have made the greatest impact on my life, as a writer and as a person. These are not the greatest authors of all time, just the ten who have made an impression on me, personally. A brief explanation of each one will follow.

1. Stephen King — The first author who fascinated me and possessed me. Since ninth grade, his work has inspired me to write. In his book On Writing, he says:

“Talent renders the whole idea of rehearsal meaningless; when you find something at which you are talented, you do it (whatever it is) until your fingers bleed or your eyes are ready to fall out of your head. Even when no one is listening (or reading, or watching), every outing is a bravura performance, because you as the creator are happy. Perhaps even ecstatic.”

Stephen King’s work, style, and inspiration has had more impact on me than any other writer. He is the reason I became a writer.

2. Kurt Vonnegut — No writer has made me laugh so hard or shown me that cynicism can be okay when it is justified. I started with and loved Slaughterhouse-Five until someone recommended the funniest book I have ever read: Breakfast of Champions. In an article about style, Vonnegut gave some of the best advice I have heard:

“Find a subject you care about and which you in your heart feel others should care about. It is this genuine caring, and not your games with language, which will be the most compelling and seductive element in your style.”

3. Sylvia Plath — Her autobiographical novel The Bell Jar was the first book I read more than once. I fell in love with her and consumed her poetry the way you consume the words of a trusted friend.

“I felt like a race horse in a world without racetracks or a champion college footballer suddenly confronted by Wall Street and a business suit, his days of glory shrunk to a little gold cup on his mantel with a date engraved on it like a date on a tombstone.”

“If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I’m neurotic as hell. I’ll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.”

“There ought, I thought, to be a ritual for being born twice - patched, retreaded and approved for the road.”

4. Ernest Hemingway — I think every guy who has read Hemingway would say he was a favorite. And I don’t think there is a writer out there who does not at least consider him as an inspiration. Hemingway’s simple but profound stories touched hearts, turned stomachs, and gave thousands of boys a taste of African adventure.

5. Ray Bradbury — Other than Stephen King, I have read more work from Ray Bradbury than any other writer. Diving into a Bradbury story is like transporting to a different world. Bradbury became my escape through high school and college. If you’re new to Bradbury, try his collection of stories The Illustrated Man. This book amazed me. Just read it.

I have also found that you can never go wrong reading a good Bradbury story to a group of students.

6. Katherine Paterson– Her novel Bridge to Terabithia was the first book to make me cry. My first year as a teacher, I wrote her a letter thanking her for being such an amazing writer. I did not expect a Newbery winning author to write back, but she did. She even took the time to write a post card to my students, encouraging them to “read more and more books from many different authors.”

Thank you, Katherine, for helping me remember that famous authors are people, too.

7. Denise Giardina — Some of you have not heard of Denise. She was the first published author I met. Shortly after taking one of her college courses, I bought and read every book she wrote. And I was lucky enough for her to sign every one of them. She gave me a lot of hope that West Virginia authors have a chance to be heard and she encouraged me to have more faith in my abilities and to always push myself to become better and better with each day. Check out her books: Storming Heaven, The Unquiet Earth, Saints and Villains, Good King Harry, Fallam’s Secret

8. Belinda Anderson — The first author I met to also become one of my best friends, my mentor, and taught me more about writing than anyone. I spent three days of an unforgettable summer talking to Belinda about writing, life, childhood, marriage, and anything else that was on our hearts and minds. She taught me that everyone has a story to offer and we all deserve a chance to tell it our way. Her two collections of stories, The Well Ain’t Dry Yet and The Bingo Cheaters are must reads.

9. Dolly Withrow — Dolly is possibly the funniest grammar goddess I have ever met, the kind who would argue over the difference between nauseous and nauseated. She is a writer whose work inspires you to enjoy life and look out for important moments, and to laugh, laugh, laugh. She was also one of the first authors to agree to visit my students and read some of her essays to them.

I thank Dolly for being a mentor and a great friend.

10. Brad Barkley — Another West Virginia author I had the pleasure of meeting during a summer writing workshop. Brad’s humor and wit is sometimes dry and harsh, but always honest. But humor, Brad taught me, is sometimes the writer’s way to a reader’s heart. He also taught me to carry a notepad and jot down funny or interesting things that I experience every day.

Check out Brad’s two novels, Money, Love and Alison’s Automotive Repair Manual.

So, there you have it. My top ten. Did it feel sinful? Not really, because I am proud to say that I know four of the ten personally.

Can you come up with your top ten most influential writers? Post it in my comments.

What exactly does that mean? I imagine this angry television writer throwing a tantrum because he’s out of ideas for the show and is parading around shouting, “No more! No! I won’t do anymore!”

This isn’t the first time a show I’ve fallen in love with has been canceled. Does anyone remember the show Wonderfalls? It was also a FOX show and had one of the most amazing main characters I have ever seen. Her name is Jaye and she is cynical, antisocial, “overeducated and underemployed”, bitter, and best of all a master at avoiding expectations. The premise of the show was a little weird, but the mark of good writing is when the characters within a story change. It’s even funnier when they change against their will. In this case, the cure for Jaye’s cynicism comes in the form of inanimate objects speaking to her and giving her clues that lead to helping her change people’s lives.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from the first episode:

Eric: Life can be sort of peaceful when you stop struggling.

Jaye: It’s a lot like drowning that way.

But, unfortunately, the show went the way of other artistic shows that just aren’t meant for mainstream crowd, I guess. I fell in love with it and was heartbroken when the fourth episode aired and then that was it.

There is a similar show out now that I also love: Eli Stone. I won’t ramble on and on about that one just yet. Let’s hope FOX keeps Amsterdam alive and I finally get to see if John finds true love and becomes mortal (although I like that he’s immortal. It does make him a better cop.) If I just confused you, watch the show. It’ll make more sense then.

Until later– “There’s no turning back now that you opened up to your mind.”

Wednesday I did yoga for thirty minutes with an instructor who comes in and teaches it to my students.  Then, at 12:20, we left for a nature hike with Mr. Smith, my Science teacher colleague.  That was an awesome hike, down behind the school and up a steep hill until we came up next to the road.  I’m sure our group of thirty or so students looked pretty comical emerging from the woods near the road.

Then, yesterday, I took the students outside at 11:50 to play whiffle ball and played all afternoon until 2:55.  After that, I drove to my writing workshop and did a presentation on using digital video with students.  Finally, I drove to dance class and practiced the dance for my routine four times, after which I flopped onto a tumbling mat and felt every muscle in my legs pulsating.

This next statement might shock you:  When I was sitting in my bed last night, watching CSI, a ticker scrolled across the screen announcing that an 8 year old boy was lost somewhere in Kanawha State Forest.  The ticker was calling for anyone who wanted to volunteer to join the search.  My heart skipped and I jumped up off of the bed.  All of my exhaustion slipped away and I started to pull on my jeans.

“I want to go,” I told my wife.

“My God, he’s only eight,” she said.

“I know.”  Both of us were thinking the same thing.  Eight.  Only one year older than our daughter.  “I want to go.”

“Honey, by the time you got there, they would probably have a hundred people searching.  And how well do you know the woods at Kanawha State Forest?”

I thought about it.  “Not very well.”  So, worried that I might get lost myself, I did not go.  I wanted to, really bad, but honestly they would probably have to call another search party to help me out of the woods, also.

Until later — “There’s no turning back now that you opened up to your mind.”