The Road Less Traveled

Boredom has repercussions. I just answered a 33 question personality quiz and these were the results. Hope this code works:

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Man, what harsh results. Especially the part about being “overly talkative… at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests…” Am I really that awful? I agree with the whole “overly flexible” and “improvised… at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.”

Come to think of it, I remember a conversation I had with a college friend that went something like this:

Friend: “You know, the thing I admire most about you is also the thing I hate most.”

Me: “What’s that?”

Friend: “You’ll talk to anybody. It’s like no one is a stranger to you and you know so many people. You’re like a politician or a celebrity or something.”

Me: “Okay? And you hate that… why?”

Friend: “You are under the mistaken assumption that everyone wants to or even needs to talk to you. You force your conversations onto people who may or may not even care what you have to say.”

Me: (pause) “Yeah, but… isn’t that how we became friends?”

Friend: (longer pause) “I said I admired it and hated it.”

So that’s me. “Overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.” But that is how I have made (and in some cases kept) 90% of my friends.

Until later– “There’s no turning back now that you opened up to your mind.”

 Disclaimer:  If you already hate Shakespeare, this blog may not concern you.

I think I have just stumbled onto the same frustration many people face when reading a Shakespeare play.  No, it’s not the language.  I get that.  Believe it or not, I have been exposed to so much Shakespearean language over the past ten years that I have come to understand it and thus to love it.  But, actually, my frustration does have something to do with the language.  Let me explain.

I am torn, as the alternative title to this blog suggests, by my love of Shakespeare’s language and the almost ridiculous situations in which he places his characters.  I’ve started reading “The Two Gentlemen of Verona.”  An old college professor of mine would ask one of the most intelligent questions I have ever heard:  Why?

Anyone who knows me well is aware that my taste in literature changes faster than the weather.  It is the reason why I take forever to finish a novel, because my ADHD will kick in, I’ll become interested in something else, and I’ll start reading that instead.

So my recent “reinterest” in Shakespeare lead me to reading one play I had not been exposed to, hence “The Two Gentlemen of Verona.”  It begins well, two best friends Proteus and Valentine, arguing over love.  Proteus is smitten by young Julia, and Valentine ridicules him and love:  “Love is your master, for he masters you, and he that is yoked by a fool methinks should not be chronicled for wise.”

Then some other stuff happens, Valentine goes off to work for a duke, Proteus stays behind because he loves Julia too much.  But… gasp… Proteus’ father makes him go to work for the duke, as well.  So, before he leaves, he exchanges vows (and rings) with Julia, swears his undying love and wishing a curse upon every second he does not think about her:  “And when that hour o’erslips me in the day wherein I sigh not, Julia, for thy sake, the next ensuing hour some foul mischance torment me for my love’s forgetfulness.”

The fun stuff starts (note sarcasm) when Proteus arrives at the duke’s “royal court” and learns that his friend Valentine has recently fallen in love with the fair Sylvia.  And guess what…? Proteus falls in love with her, as well, at first sight.  So, right after his meeting her, he begins to devise a plot to forget about Julia, have Valentine banished from the duke’s court, and live happily ever after with Sylvia.  Therefore proving that even in the romantic world of Shakespeare, men are pigs, yes we are, destined to a life of infidelity and woe.

Come on.  I really want to love this play, I truly do.  It has some of the most eloquently written lines I have read in any Shakespeare play.  “What light is light, if Silvia be not seen?  What joy is joy, if Silvia be not by?  Unless it be to think that she is by and feed upon the shadow of perfection except I be by Silvia in the night, there is no music in the nightingale; unless I look on Silvia in the day, there is no day for me to look upon; she is my essence, and I leave to be, if I be not by her fair influence foster’d, illumined, cherish’d, kept alive.”  But man, what a horrible situation he has these characters in.

I have not finished the play (but, oh, I will) but apparently it gets worse.  I’ve heard that Proteus tries to force his love upon Sylvia (yes, that means what you think it means) and Valentine catches him.  It gets better.  Proteus apologizes, and Valentine decides to give Sylvia to him as a token of their renewed friendship.

Wow.

So where is the juxtaposition?  I love Shakespeare so much that I am going to subject myself to the torture of such a horrible situation in order to venture into a world of his I have not yet experienced.  How can you not resist such lines as “Is she kind as she is fair?  For beauty lives with kindness.  Love doth to her eyes repair, to help him of his blindness, and, being helped, inhabits there.”  That’s powerful stuff.  I hate Shakespeare, yet I love him, yet I hate him.  I’m so confused.

Just wish me luck.  I’m off to read Act 3.

Until later– “There’s no turning back not that you open up to your mind.”

I hate onions.  I know this is odd because they’re in just about everything.  I remember my mother cooking foods that needed onion and my stepfather shouting, “Put a buncha onions in it.”  Mom would wink at me and only sprinkle in a few.

On the other hand, I love ramps.  For those of you who are not up on Appalachian culture, ramps are a special type of wild leek and they taste something like a cross between onions and garlic.  They grow just like wild onions with tall green stalks above ground and round white bulbs below ground.  When you cook with them, the whole house radiates from the stink.  I know a lot of people who will never even try ramps because of their strong aroma.

But oh my gosh, when my mother would fry potatoes and chop up little bits of ramp into the pan, I would savor that smell.  It would last long after dinner was over, but we didn’t care.  I would bite into those potatoes with surprising enthusiasm. 

 My grandfather loved to cook pinto beans with ramps.  Pinto beans were always a childhood favorite of mine, but I remember turning down a bowl while visiting a friend because I could see chunks of onion floating on top.  But, mmm, when I saw my grandfather chopping those familiar bits of green into a huge pot on pinto beans, my mouth would drip with hunger.

I remember spending some time with my father in Ohio and talking to other kids in the neighborhood about ramps.  “Like boat ramps?” one kid asked.  This, I found out later, was very common.

That evening, my father drove me to the northern panhandle and we hiked up a small hill just beside the road.  A few times I kept peering down the hill at the flashing hazard lights on my father’s truck.  But when he said, “There we go,” I turned my attention to a small cluster of dark green stalks and smiled.

The next morning, we ate an awesome breakfast of scrambled eggs, sausage, biscuits, and fried potatoes with… you guessed it… ramps.

Thus the mystery of my hatred for onions but my love of ramps.  Never have been able to figure it out.  Maybe this is a message to anyone who hates onions:  Try ramps.

Here’s a link to a wikipedia article about ramps.  It even says that they are “especially popular in the cuisine of the US state of West Virginia.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_leek

Until later– There’s no turning back now that you opened up to your mind.

Ah, it feels great to be home… long enough to rest, eat dinner and then… go to work.  It’s not so bad, though.  I just look at it as another adventure-filled evening at the movie theater.

Oh, I forgot to mention that, didn’t I.  In addition to teaching, I also work part time at a movie theater.  What a perfect job for someone who loves movies, huh?  I have a great time and get along with every one who works there.  My job?  Remember that time you spilled a bunch of popcorn on the floor, shrugged your shoulders and said, “Eh, someone will clean it up.”  I’m someone.  I clean theaters and tear tickets at the podium, direct moviegoers (my favorite type of people) to the correct theater.  I love it.  It really, truly is the best part time job I have ever had.

Recently, a teacher in our area was fired for selling drugs.  He claimed he had to sell drugs because he did not make enough money as a teacher.  What?  Well, let’s see how well your salary pays for a defense lawyer, court costs, bail, or whatever.

Okay, I have to share something that makes me grin.  Sorry.  First, take a look at this picture:

According to the site where I found this picture  (http://xmb.stuffucanuse.com/xmb/viewthread.php?tid=2589) it was taken by a “fire behavior analyst” from Fairbanks, Alaska.  Here is what he said about the picture:  “That’s a once in a life time look there.  I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.  I’ve been doing this for 20 years and it ranks in the top three days of fire behavior I’ve seen.”

Okay, I have a few response questions, and I hope I don’t offend anyone.  First question:  What?  Fire behavior?  Fire behavior analyst?  Who the heck signs up for that job?  And is anyone else disturbed by this guy’s choice of words here:  “[I]t ranks in the top three days of fire behavior I’ve seen.”  As if the mass of flames that are about to destroy acres upon acres of forestry is a “good behavior.”  This is a guy who likes his job just a little too much.

So, I’m going to invent a new job.  Flood behavior analyst.  When I get a cool photo of someone’s roof with women and children standing on top, begging for help from nearby helicopters, I can say about the photo later, “This was one of the most impressive days of flood behavior I have ever seen.”  No!  Bad!  Wrong!  It’s one thing to be fascinated by the power and destruction that natural disasters can cause.  It’s another thing to be almost in exaltation of it, or to make a career out of studying how it behaves.  Unless, of course, you’re going to put the darn camera down and do something to get rid of it.

Okay, I’m finished.  I’ve had my daily dose of responding to human absurdity.

I stumbled onto a writing prompt that said, “Write about something you love that you are actually kind of embarrassed about.  Explain why you love it so much.”  I laughed out loud.  Since I am pretty much shameless, even my wife could answer this one for me.  Here goes:  I love the movie Stick-It.

The main character is recovering from her parents’ divorce, acting out, and eventually gets arrested for a BMX stunt gone wrong.  As punishment, her father and the court sends her to a gymnastics academy in Houston where she is forced to return to a gymnastics career that she had recently abandoned.  I was enjoying the film’s witty dialogue and fun characters, but I fell in love with it near the end when the main character is about to do her floor routine.  She has a short in-her-head monologue before her performance:

“There are things you wish for before big moments.  I wish my friends were here.  I wish my parents were different. I wish there was someone who got what was happening and could just look at me and tell me we weren’t crazy, that we weren’t being stupid.  Someone to say ‘I’m proud of you… and I got your back no matter what.’”

After this, her coach interrupts her before she begins the routine and tells her that he is so proud to be her coach.  I tear up almost every time I watch it.  Sorry, can’t help it.  Because I know that is what we all want, someone to tell us how proud they are, regardless of our mistakes, that they’re proud to be a part of our lives and they have our backs, no matter what.

There is another really great scene that I will post here.  This is an amazing part because it reminds me that kids like Haley, although rebellious on the surface, are always doing what’s right for others.  The greatest part is that her rebellion catches on.  As a teacher, I am careful to label my students who appear “bad”.  I honestly believe that a girl like Haley would make a great leader.