The Road Less Traveled

I think it’s really funny that my last post about being an ADHD reader was spotlighted by two ADHD blogs.  I guess it was a pretty impressive work of writing.  I wrote it last night after a very tiring two days.

Wednesday I did yoga for thirty minutes with an instructor who comes in and teaches it to my students.  Then, at 12:20, we left for a nature hike with Mr. Smith, my Science teacher colleague.  That was an awesome hike, down behind the school and up a steep hill until we came up next to the road.  I’m sure our group of thirty or so students looked pretty comical emerging from the woods near the road.

Then, yesterday, I took the students outside at 11:50 to play whiffle ball and played all afternoon until 2:55.  After that, I drove to my writing workshop and did a presentation on using digital video with students.  Finally, I drove to dance class and practiced the dance for my routine four times, after which I flopped onto a tumbling mat and felt every muscle in my legs pulsating.

This next statement might shock you:  When I was sitting in my bed last night, watching CSI, a ticker scrolled across the screen announcing that an 8 year old boy was lost somewhere in Kanawha State Forest.  The ticker was calling for anyone who wanted to volunteer to join the search.  My heart skipped and I jumped up off of the bed.  All of my exhaustion slipped away and I started to pull on my jeans.

“I want to go,” I told my wife.

“My God, he’s only eight,” she said.

“I know.”  Both of us were thinking the same thing.  Eight.  Only one year older than our daughter.  “I want to go.”

“Honey, by the time you got there, they would probably have a hundred people searching.  And how well do you know the woods at Kanawha State Forest?”

I thought about it.  “Not very well.”  So, worried that I might get lost myself, I did not go.  I wanted to, really bad, but honestly they would probably have to call another search party to help me out of the woods, also.

Until later — “There’s no turning back now that you opened up to your mind.”

This morning, as I was driving to work, I saw the most perfect sunrise, the kind where the clouds are painted with brushstrokes of gold before the sun officially comes up.  It was amazing.  And as I drove the Interstate, it took every bit of willpower I had to keep my eyes on the road as the sun began to crawl up from behind the horizon.  It reminded me of the day at Virginia Beach when I woke up early, walked out to the ocean, and watched a group of dolphins cresting the water as the sun rose slowly and patiently.

I love days like this, when so far everything just seems to cooperate, when your eyes and ears are opened to so many different sights and sounds.  My eyes are usually opened (or at least I try to keep them opened) but sometimes the noise and clutter of stress drowns it all out.

But not today.  Something tells me this is going to be a special day.

Boredom has repercussions. I just answered a 33 question personality quiz and these were the results. Hope this code works:

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Man, what harsh results. Especially the part about being “overly talkative… at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests…” Am I really that awful? I agree with the whole “overly flexible” and “improvised… at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.”

Come to think of it, I remember a conversation I had with a college friend that went something like this:

Friend: “You know, the thing I admire most about you is also the thing I hate most.”

Me: “What’s that?”

Friend: “You’ll talk to anybody. It’s like no one is a stranger to you and you know so many people. You’re like a politician or a celebrity or something.”

Me: “Okay? And you hate that… why?”

Friend: “You are under the mistaken assumption that everyone wants to or even needs to talk to you. You force your conversations onto people who may or may not even care what you have to say.”

Me: (pause) “Yeah, but… isn’t that how we became friends?”

Friend: (longer pause) “I said I admired it and hated it.”

So that’s me. “Overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.” But that is how I have made (and in some cases kept) 90% of my friends.

Until later– “There’s no turning back now that you opened up to your mind.”

A nice cup of tea can cure a lot of ills. It’s been a stressful week already, and it’s only Wednesday. Once again, I rushed out of the house this morning and forgot to take the trash to the curb. I usually judge my days based on how many things I forget in the morning. That was number one. By eight a.m., that number had risen to three. So naturally, I didn’t have a very positive outlook for the rest of the day.

Boy was I wrong. I met one of the Harlem Globetrotters today and proved to my students that I can almost make a half court shot. He gave a very inspirational message that reinforced what I have been trying to teach many of them, that it’s not what you do for yourself that matters but what you do for others.

Then, with enthusiasm I hadn’t felt for some time, I talked to my students about our new board work idea in which we use the acronym JAMS to get started right at the beginning of class. This idea was met with a little resistance, worried I was suddenly becoming another strict teacher who would never let them speak (apparently a luxury they don’t often get in their classes). “I promise you,” I said, “that only the first five to ten minutes of class is going to change. Everything else will be as usual. You’ll get to write and share your writing with each other, as always.” They all seemed happy to oblige and I am looking forward to watching them rise to the expectations.

Night school went great, as well. I have encouraged them to start student accounts on edublogs and many of them have taken off on their own and already posted several entries. I am so proud of them that I could burst.

So now, here I sit with my proud cup of white tea (which my wife swears is better than green, more antioxidants or something) relaxed after a great day with my students, and I’m feeling like I am one of the luckiest people in the world.

Until later– “There’s no turning back now that you opened up to your mind.”

A few months ago, when Paul, a missionary friend of mine, was visiting my students to talk about Haiti, I wrote this:

 ”I keep making promises to myself that I’m not sure I can cash in on.  I want to travel out of the country not to vacation, but to make a difference.  I think I’ve been cursed with my father’s wandering spirit but my grandfather’s generous heart.  I promised Jennifer that our first trip out of the country would be together, but I don’t know how she would feel about travelling to a country that is dangerous or poor in order to help those in need.  I would want to bring the girls along, to teach them about other cultures and the importance of giving.”

I found this picture that just intensified these feelings.  It was taken in 1994 by Kevin Carter.  The caption says it all:

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if I would even have the strength to handle seeing such a situation.  But it’s good to know that I would want to help, if I could.

I know, I’m being crazy-emotional again.

Until later– “There’s no turning back now that you’ve opened up to your mind.”

I can’t stress enough the importance of attitude on the success of your day.  Yesterday, as an experiment, I deliberately placed myself in a bad mood, I will complaining about things, putting myself down, just so I could see how that affects my responses to others and how I feel at the end of the day. 

Yesterday, I was in a pretty bad mood, whining about the same things that have been bugging me for months, wondering if I will ever climb out of this hole I have buried myself in.  By the end of the day, I was exhausted.  I didn’t want to be bothered by anyone and just curled up on my sofa and watched television.  I tossed and turned late into the night, unable to sleep because I had allowed everything to bother me.

This was totally out of the ordinary for me.  I am usually a cheerful guy with an unusually positive attitude.  I take things in stride, always with a smile (unless it’s severe) and my faith in myself and my abilities are usually relentless.

The other day, I introduce a word to my students:  corroding

cor·rode [kuh-rohd] –verb (used with object)

That’s what a negative attitude does.  It corrodes, it eats away gradually the more you allow it to take control.  I have seen it happen to so many other teachers and people in professions that are stressful and demanding.  In fact, I remember some of my worst teachers who just seemed so miserable because they had a negative attitude.

Charles Swindoll said, “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it…  We are in charge of our attitudes.”  There is a book by Mac Anderson titled The Power of Attitudethat stays in my possession more than any other book (besides my Bible).  There is an amazing section of the book titled “Emotional Baggage” where he says that we have to unload our emotional hangups, forgiving those who have caused us harm or trouble.

So, that is where I am right now.  Forgiveness.  Unloading my emotional baggage.  I’m just… not angry anymore.  Do I trust the people who have hurt me?  No, but I no longer hate them nor am I angry with them.  If they have a problem with me, then I hope some day they will be able to unload their emotional baggage, as well.  But I’m through being angry, with myself and with others.

Until later… “There’s not turning back now that you opened up to your mind.”